Not too long ago, we asked you guys to “describe the most annoying individual you’ve ever run into at a show.” We got a lot of responses, many of which were hilarious. Several answers ranged from “any hardcore dancer ever” and “the 350lb neanderthal shoulder checker” to lengthy descriptions of a certain asshole in the crowd. After reading through all of them, it only seemed right to share some with the world. So, here you go. These are the most annoying people at a show, as submitted by you guys.
“Me, always eat curry and drop proper long firing minging guff bombs. Real stinkers. Music is too loud for any aural clues as to the guilty party. Of course I stand with a look of “which honking twat dropped that?”. Being a normal person the smell of my own shat flavoured gas deposits don’t get the gag reflex going. We all tolerate our own trump odour, but by bugger can it shift a few people around at the front. I know it can waft onto the stage too, Ronnie Dio and Tom Arya have both had a reaction to my rumbling ruby inspired airbourne flatulence. I hate it when someone else packed a bit of ale and Madras themselves, dirty log riders spoil it for everyone…”
“Some guy at a local show shit his pants, then thought it’d be funny to crowd surf.”
“Downtown Seattle this opener kept calling the crowd Tacoma… he didn’t get it even after the extremely loud boo’ing each time.. the entire crowd heckled him for the remainder of the show. He stopped a couple times to yell at the crowd to stop heckling him. I was dying of second hand embarrassment. His project was to mix every genre of music since the beginning of time (a cool idea but not very well executed.. at all).”
“There was some really slutty looking chick in a bikini going to different guys getting them to put her on their shoulders. She had a huge nasty rash all over her ass. That part was funny.”
“A drunk guy took our seats at a Dream Theater concert and he wouldn’t move. Security escorted him to his seat…which was at the front.”
“Seedy bloke outside the pisser kept saying “got coke, got molly” under his breath while I was waiting for my friend.”
“Some dumbass tried to bring a confederate flag into a Slayer mosh pit this Summer. He was knocked out within seconds and his body was rolled out of the pit. Never seen pit justice happen so fast.”
“The cunt in front of you who watches the entire fucking thing through the screen of their smartphone.”
“People at a festival who think it’s ok to piss shit and puke everywhere except the toilet.”
“Some nasty looking woman kept dancing like a stripper up on the balcony to Killswitch Engage. She made no ones that night.”
“Some drunk guy poured his beer all over me on a Lamb of God concert. Maybe it wasn’t so bad because I decked him in the face :D”
“Got kicked out of a show because some asshole tried to jump me in the bathroom.”
“I went to the last Vanna show as the full original band. They put on a great show but these Hells Angels came through and started breaking bottles while moshing, trying to shank whoever was in the pit. They stopped the show for a bit and they got rowdy.”
On a similar not… “People pulling out knives in mosh pits…. What the fuck?”
“I was at South By So What?! Last year, during Sworn In some D-Bag hardcore dancer in the pit tried to use me as a springboard to crowd surf, and just jumped onto my back and climbed over me, kicking me in the face and breaking my sunglasses in the process.”
“I had a girl throw up in front of me in the middle of seeing the Foo Fighters last night!”
“People trying to make the circle pit go clockwise. You never go clockwise.”
“This guy kept trying to talk to me while I was taking a piss. Fuck off dude.”
“Mother fuckers holding up huge signs or flags in the crowd for the entire fucking set. We get it. You want to make a statement or you’re from x location but I wanna see the fucking show!”
“People sitting in the middle of the crowd. Who does that?”
“Guys with beers in the pit. Why do you buy a beer when you’re just gonna spill it on the floor?”
“Gross ass middle aged dudes in the pit that for some reason always end up taking their shirts off.”
“This bitch kept scratching and hammering at my hands while I was on the front rail.”
“I was at a super small local show and decided to get close to the stage (I was like 14 and it was only my second show) when I felt some kid repeatedly hitting me in the back. I turned around and saw some kid facing away from the stage, windmilling his arm, and not giving a shit that his hand has just hit me at least seven times by now. Like what the fuck? It wasn’t even a mosh pit. Kid was fuckin’ alone.”
“The one who pushes people into the pit when you’re clearly trying to keep your distance and enjoy the show. I’m a short guy and I remember when someone picked me up from my shoulders and threw me into a mosh pit.”
“The fat guy who tries to jump off the stage right into me. Doesn’t get any air cuz he thinks he skinny. Watch the crowd in front disperse as he epically fails and falls to the floor! Ha!”
“I was watching BTBAM and some dude kept trying to throw cups of water at Dustie. I don’t understand why people would do that?”
“For Today and Sleeping Giant preaching onstage…………”
And, if you’re looking for remedies to such behavior, check out our other specials…
How Not To Suck At Being A Metal Fan
Mosh Pit Etiquette
